metazoo flatwoods merch
about my flatwoods obsession
i discovered the flatwoods monster for the first time not too long ago, via a youtube video by hazel about flatwoods sightings in games. her big, round eyes and silly little outfit were so striking to me compared to other, more generic cryptids, and i quickly became so very enamored with her. i think shes like.... a misunderstood little creature. a shy girl, even.
who is the flatwoods monster?
to me, a very real, silly little alien lady. to most... probably just a barn owl, lol! the cliff notes version of the story is some boys in flatwoods, west virginia in 1952 saw a light in the sky land on a local farmer's property. they went and told a woman (diversity win!!!) near them, and they all (plus a goddamn national guardsman??) went to investigate! they trudged up to the top of a hill, and saw a pulsing red light and a "man-like figure with a round, red face surrounded by a pointed, hood-like shape." it was also alleged that they heard a loud hissing sound and smelled a "pungent mist," whatever that means.
common belief now is that, in fact, the light they saw in the sky was probably a meteor, the pulsating red light on the hill was an aircraft beacon, and the monster, sounds and all, was, yes, a barn owl.
i, of course, choose to ignore all of this. the flatwoods monster is my dearest baby, and i (semi-jokingly, to be clear) choose to believe shes out there, somewhere, scaring a new generation of children, women, and national guardsmen alike.
can i get in touch with you about my flatwoods related inquiries?
why yes, you can! im not an expert on flatwoods lore by any means, but if you wanna get in touch and talk about her (or you just have something you think i'd be interested in), you can contact me on discord at prawnwar#4261 !